You, Me and Destiny

My dreams had an ambitious bent before I saw you first,

I was a teenager then I knew that one day this love would burst.

You came out of nowhere and helped me stand on my feet,

But you went away so quickly, like God had shown me a glimpse and then taken away my treat.

A penny fell out of your pocket and I still hold that dear,

I have grown up now, I will be married to someone else I fear!

My hungry eyes have searched for your image in every place I go,

I never found those big, brown, kind eyes again in any face nor that aristocratic nose and eyebrow.

I knew in that one spellbinding moment, when I met you, that you were my soul mate.

For years I've been searching everywhere for you, my love, this love does not seem to abate.

My hopes grew thinner with every passing day,

Maybe I would never find you, maybe that is God's way.

****

I am married now to another and we have our family, 

I am the perfect wife and mother, there is just one single anomaly.

I still don't love my husband, not that he isn't a good man,

He is kind, loving and affectionate. A perfect husband for a wife's lifespan.

I have surrendered myself to this life, though my soul is still not into it.

My interest in life is draining slowly bit by bit.

And then one sunny day, I saw you again!

You had grown old, it was like your jet black hair had got a white stain.

You had never been a breathtaking Greek Apollo,

There was some charm around you, an air of happiness, as if your spirits could never be low.

You were still the same; In the bleak, black world, you were still my sun.

I had duties towards a husband and a son now, fine threads of relations fate has spun!

Still I couldn't stop myself, my body was being pulled towards you by an invisible string.

I heard myself asking you, if you remembered that we had met, seven years ago, one fateful spring!

You said you didn't and that hurt me like a thousand needles pricked at once.

The one I loved with all my heart and soul didn't consider me in his list of dear ones.

Tears were threatening to brim over my eyes and overflow,

I didn't want you to see that fate had given me a heart-breaking blow!

I said my goodbyes and turned away from you just as the first tear drop fell,

I felt such despair, such loneliness that I can never tell!

I felt disgusted with myself that I had loved you all along,

Your penny that I had always cherished slipped through my fingers as, to me, it did not belong.   

****

I saw my penny slip through your fingers and waited for you to go,

I knew it belonged to me, it was one of a kind, my father had given it to me long ago.

I had dropped it that day on purpose, to see if you would keep my token,

I had snitched away your hairpin as a gift, a memory of yours I had taken.

You had just grown out of childhood then, my lovely girl!

How could I have asked for your hand then? I had thought fate would, in due course,unfurl.

I had thought that for you to live in luxury, I would have to make some money.

I left our birth land and returned many years later, to me our future looked sunny.

It never crossed my mind that you would belong to someone else so fast,

Then I saw you with your husband and son on each side, you hadn't seen me, I felt like an outcast.

I felt devastated, my soul had lost its purpose to exist,

The sunny future had been covered now by a thick, black mist.

The sorrow was so deep that even tears refused to come out,

It was as cold as the arctic wind, my tears had frozen without doubt.

I thought about it for days together and felt that maybe I was your silly teenage crush.

You were the love of my life! Was I as unimportant as a particle of dust ? So easy to brush?

I had dreamed about us together, like a happy song.

It is hard to digest that it is to another that you belong!

And then today you saw me. In your eyes, love as intense as mine I could see.

It took all my life's control not to stop you from going free.

You had a family and duties you could never let go,

If you knew that I cherished you too, you would be ecstatic, but eventually you would feel deep guilt and sorrow.

For then you would have to choose between me and your life in which you have perfectly fit,

You would choose me and I do not want you to leave your family and split.

So I replied that I don't remember you, knowing it would hurt you a lot,

You, my love, have no idea how much it hurt! What a pathetic fate it is in which we are caught!

"I don't remember seeing you", Hah! That was the greatest lie ever!

When it was your face that will be impinged upon my memory, my dreams forever!

You turned away disgusted and I saw your tear reflect the sunlight.

I cannot help this hurt, my love! Our fate is cruel! Fate that we can never fight!

You will be happy with your family, your path is set.

I have to find a new reason to live, this memory I have to somehow forget!

Yet I have a feeling I can never let go of your face and that expression.

At present all my feelings in life, except dejection, have reached a point of cessation.

So many words have been defeated by silence that I wish my silence had words, my dear.

Your laughter, your words, your love for me I'll never get to hear!

We loved each other, but destiny never made us meet at the right time,

These words are ringing in my ears, like haunted sounds of a broken wind chime.

I was never a believer in rebirth, but now I want to be!
Maybe destiny will be kinder next time, we will be together my love, you and me.....